lonely teen refuge

I'm your lonely teen refuge/Hidden beneath hopes/For strange magic and notes
You wish and you want/You drown in nostalgia/I have no help for you/For you, or for me
The moon is so bright/Let us go and ask him/To teach us both/How to love
I'm your lonely teen refuge/The one in the sky/The one you can't/Wait for to die
No one can keep us apart/No one but/Both of us/No one can kill this spark
Of nonsensical reality/You wished for the stars and the moon/I gave them both to you
Our diaries are full of/Of nonsense and fools' gold and/Tidbits of love
That will never exist/Among you and the world/Because I'm always there
Holding you back by your hair/You'll never see the light/Of reality 
I'm your lonely teen refuge/The one you see/The one you don't/Want to be 
Helter skelter/In our minds/Let us break/From this world/And twirl and twirl and twirl and twirl
Until we both lose our minds
Lonely teen refuge/Helter skelter/Lonely teen refuge/In our minds/Lonely teen refuge/Apologize 
Let's go twirl and twirl until we sometimes move/And then we'll twirl and twirl and twirl and twirl
Until we lose our minds 

This is basically the draft of a song that I wrote while waiting for my internet connection to come back on. The post was originally going to be about something grunge-y and angsty and full of teenage blues, but this came out and I was glad for the change. I guess it's a different kind of teenage angst, which makes it better. It's meant to be a light, airy song that still is a bit weighed down. It's hard to explain, but it's meant to be something like this. I really like the rhythm of it.It's sort of slow/average at first and then at the end it speeds up.

Basically, it's about the lonely teen refuge that exists in all of us. Sometimes we want it to disappear and stop weighing us down, but it can end up controlling some of us, which may not be so bad. The vibes are basically how I feel right now which is just a mix of so many great things. 

  I'm actually thankful for Hurricane Sandy now. Staying inside for a few days will help me catch up on my writing and DIYs, but mostly writing. I know this sounds so lame and corny and like one of those motivational posters, but I feel really in touch with myself right now. Because of this song, my day got even better. I'm up watching reruns of Castle, which is undeniably one of the best shows ever, and working on playlists for Rookie. Everything just feels so beautiful right now. (I may sound like a stoner right now but I swear, this all makes sense.) Also, the amazing vibes that I have were added to by my discovery and new obsession of Witching Hour.  

             

       [source]

[source unknown]

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i want to live on skull island (a.k.a randomness)

                 

(source)

This pictures make me want to go camping/hiking so much. Listening to this song while looking at this picture just intensifies that feeling/all the vibes attached to it even more. 

              
This outfit is just incredible. Her skirt reminds me of one of those huts that you see in one of those old movies where people go to a mysterious island and find a tribe living there (like Skull Island in the original version of King Kong). 

That tribe honestly scared me when I first saw them and a couple times after that. I first saw King Kong (the 1933 version) when I was in kindergarten (or around that time), which would explain a lot. 

How classy. 

See how terribly off topic I can get? Wow. 

Anyway, I took the SHSAT today, and it was surprisingly the most fun test I've ever taken. Not really the test itself, but I got to sit with most of my best friends and there was a ton of laughing included, as well as a mind-boggling "How many hips could a hipster stir if a hipster stir if a hipster could stir hips?"  

                 

This is one of my favorite set of pictures EVER. I only knew about the first one, but I found the other three on tumblr and have since fallen in love with them. 

                 

So this has just descended from hiking/camping to street style to King Kong to the SHSAT to Courtney Love to Debbie Harry to Tate Langdon. Okay. 

-Britney

i wanna be where the wild things are

Well, HI. 

I finally printed out a bunch of pictures from my camera. There's still some more that I need to print out, but these are some of my favorites. 

OH EM GEE THEY'RE HOT PAAAAAANTZ. 

So I bought hot pants. And they're hot. While being pants. 

Seeing as it's October and all, I can't wear them without freezing (literally). 

 

 

 

 

-Britney

                                  Photo credits to my friend Polina for the last two pictures

while i pondered weak and weary

Hello, world. I haven't blogged in what seems like too long a time, which makes me sad. But now I'm back! (Way to state the obvious.)  

source: www.keeptate.tumblr.com

AMERICAN HORROR STORY STARTED BACK. I only included this picture because 1) Evan Peters is one of my favorite people ever and 2) I'm trying to repress all of my fangirl feelings for him/Tate Langdon/Kit Walker/American Horror Story. If I didn't hold myself back, there'd probably be hundreds of AHS pictures on this here blog. 

This is the most famous death mask in the world, called L'Inconnue de la Seine, which means "the unknown woman of the Seine". It's a death mask of a woman-thought to be around 16 years old-who was pulled up out of the Seine River in Paris. She was thought to have committed suicide, since no signs of violence were discovered on her body. When the mask was first produced, it was-and probably still is-considered art and hung in the houses of people around the world.  I find it so eerie and beautiful; I like to think that her face is this way because she'd finally found peace and had no troubles anymore, which sounds really cheesy, I know. 

I've decided to be a raven for Halloween/Senior Dress Up Day (which is actually on November 2, not October 31, so yay, more misinformation). I bought THE COOLEST black wings yesterday, and I plan to find excuses to wear them on normal days. I only realized when I got home that Suzy from Moonrise Kingdom was a raven in the movie, which made me feel even cooler. 

Suzy's raven costume was way better than mine, though. 

Two random things that I felt like sharing (three if you count the one below, which sums up everything about me-the seller of it on Etsy said it's called " '90s revival girl", so YEAH, it's definitely about me.)

I watched a show about Marilyn Miller today; she seems amazing. 

Lately, I've been thinking about something that my English class discussed. It was this quote: 

I am not who you think I am. I am not who I think I am. I am, who I think, you think, I am. 

      It's about how people usually act the way they think other people think of them, even when that usually isn't how others think of the person, and that we're really only ourselves when we're alone. (Another quote that ties into this-"All the world's a stage." That was made up by Stanley Tucci. Kidding, kidding, it's Shakespeare. Let's hope you knew that.) I realized how true that is, especially for me. For example, one of my friends think I obsess over things too much-which I don't-so I find myself doing so because of that. It's really odd, and I don't know why I'm talking about it. But I feel like it's important. I have a lot to say about it, but this is turning into word vomit. Anyway. 

       

               a collage I made over the summer representing my brain at the time             ("Playground Love" by Air does a good job of this, too.)

On another note, I've been thinking about it lately, and I think I need a pen pal. As in, an actual snail mail pen pal. Whenever I see how people used send each other letters, I find myself envying them. So I have decided: I need a pen pal! Or two! Or three! So yeah, instead of being annoying about this, I'm asking you to be a pal and pick up a pen. (I honestly don't know what compelled me to type up that last bit.) 

So basically, if you're interested in being my pen pal, just say the word! Then we can send each other letters covered in stickers and teenage angst.

                                                                                     -Britney

what is this thing I call my MIND?

I guess I felt sort of...minimalist? I thought that if I added anything then the outfit would be ruined. 

This is a huge, creepy tree that I saw on the way from ballet class. I want to build a treehouse in it and live there forever. 

My mom's shoes are way cool. 

This is one of my favorite songs EVER. It's so intriguing and makes me think of so many things. I would try to embody it in an outfit but I might have too many things going on. I should still try! I guess the title reminded me of this outfit. 

Okay, so this video/song has nothing to do with my outfit or that day, but Lana Del Rey IS SO AMAZING and just one of my favorite people ever. This is my favorite song from her and despite all the people who criticize her, I find her to be intriguing and an all-around supercalifragilisticexpialidocious person.  

-Britney 

Top-Material Girl Skirt-Maison Martin Margiela Sandals-Ann Demeulemeester

and we'll all have black roses in our hair

Ever since that last mini-epiphany/random burst of inspiration on my day off from school,  I felt sort of blah. But guess what? I'm a Rookie staff writer now! -BURSTS OF OF EXCITEMENT- I'm one of the weekly diarists, and you can see my first entry here. That made me feel more inspired, because the Rookie tumblr has a ton of great pictures, and thinking of articles to write helps me have more good vibes. In fact, tumblr in general has a  lot of rad pictures. This has been my recent inspiration:

-Cassie's blog
-Maddie's blog
-Marlena's blog 
-Kailey's blog 

thisishangingrockcomics

[Rookie tumblr]

  

The Twin Peaks theme song fits in with a lot of what I'm feeling right now. I keep humming it as a result of it being stuck in my head from listening to it so much. 

So does this song.  It's originally from Twisted Nerve, which I really want to see. 

                                      

I'm feeling a little more inspired than when I started writing this post (which was yesterday, because for some reason I can rarely write a post in one day), but not as much as I'd like to be. I feel sort of...empty. Does anyone else ever feel that way? It's weird, because even though I see things that I like (for example, the picture below) and make things (I'm making a flower crown right now), I don't feel any excitement about it. Everything seems blah. (I just realized that this is the second time that I said that.)

[Image source] 

For some reason, I like decrepit/abandoned houses. This is one that I saw on my way from ballet lessons. 

"Want to listen to Morrissey? He's cool. And he's pissy, and he hates everyone and everything."
-Violet from American Horror Story